Back to the work!

We are back from our visit to see our family, friends and churches. We had a great trip. It was so good to see everyone.

While it was great to be there it is also good to be back and to get back into a routine. I will and already do miss everyone, but the Lord is so good to keep us so busy that we don't have time to mull over it. As well as, the fact that if I did mull over it, it would be wrong. As it would be selfish. I know that I am here to bring glory to God and while I know that I could do a better job than I am, I can't help to think at how the Lord works it out that I do bring Him glory. Such as keeping me busy here. It has been so good to see the boys back at work. School is back in and will be going through the summer for us. Nathan is enjoying learning to read. Brandon is working on his next woodworking project. We have had three kids born and Brandon did a great job of assisting in that as I was at the store when they decided to come. One was breech. While Dad ran to see what to do, Brandon was doing what needed to be done. By the time Phillip came back the kid was born. Dustin has been trying to decide what to do with the billy kid that was born to him, as we don't keep them here. All of us have been busy with the garden.

Which brings me to say I have many ideas coming back on with the garden theme of our children. I plan to get back to posting some more about them as time permits. Right now I want to share something with you that I read this morning.


You know many people say that they homeschool the Charlot Mason method. I have been reading her books and am learning that those that say they do may not really. Most focus on the living books and living art, but I have come to learn that her method focuses more on character and discipline. Here is an excerpt out of her Volume 4 chapter 4. If we take heed to this then we all would be better off, as sin starts in the imagination. To keep ones imagination in check is very wise.

Imagination must not make Pictures of Self.––Imagination, minister as it should be to the joy and breadth of life, has, alas! its two besetting Dæmons––Self and Sin. There is no one who does not imagine. You are a Princess with golden hair and blue eyes and a long, long train to your silken robe, and the Prince comes, and after great feats of valour which make the world wonder, he kneels before you and asks you to be his bride:––
           "Little Ellie in her smile
           Chooses––'I will have a lover,
           Riding on a steed of steeds:
           He shall love me without guile,
           And to him I will discover
           The swan's nest among the reeds.'
Or you are Prince Valorous himself, and you subdue the Paynim and conquer many lands, and the King places you at his right hand in war and at the feast. These are pretty dreams, and there is not much harm in them, except that, while one dreams, one forgets to do, and life is made up altogether of doing and not at all of dreaming. It is very nice to dream,


when people have been finding fault with us, that we shall do wonderful and beautiful things––nurse the sick and build palaces for the poor and make gardens of delight for the mother or father who finds fault with us––and to think how everybody will admire us for all our beauty and goodness and cleverness especially those people who have laughed at us; to think, too, how kind we shall be to them and what presents we shall make them, and how sorry they will be that they have not always been polite and kind!
I do not think it is lawful to set Imagination to build us pleasure-houses in this way. In the first place, as I said before, while we are dreaming we are letting all our chances of doing slip by us. In the next place, when we have dreamed ourselves into being some high and mighty personage, ever so good and great, we are very easily affronted; and Imagination leaves off his building tasks to throw stones at our friends. Imagination tells us that 'Mother' does not understand us, does not know half what great persons we are; that 'Father' is not kind, that Lucy or Edward is more noticed than we are, that lessons are hateful, that going for a walk is a bother, that seeing people is a nuisance, that any book but a storybook is dull; and, by degrees, other people find us just what we, in our imagination, have pictured them.
Our best friends have to own that we are dull and disagreeable, peevish and resentful; they say there is no pleasing us, they complain that there is no getting us to join in games or to take any interest in plans. They say we do not try to be pleasant with, or helpful to, anybody. The little ones say we are cross, and do not woo us to play with them, and the big ones think us grumpy

and let us alone. It is very provoking, because we know that all the time we have beautiful thoughts about what we shall do for every one of them, and the least they can do is to be kind meantime!
How to Exorcise the Dæmon.––But the others are right, and we are wrong. Just ask yourself, who is the chief person in all the pretty pictures you make, in all the plans you form? If you have to confess that you, yourself, are, why, Imagination has just been making pleasure-houses for Self instead of collecting pictures of the great rich world. See about it, in the future, and set this glorious servant to work in his rightful calling. Then you will be a delight to your friends, because you will have much to tell, and will be interested about many things. You will not trouble them or yourself with that peevish, exacting, grudging Self, a tyrant in any home. In fact, you will find so much that is delightful to think about that you will hardly have a moment in which to think about yourself. Turn Self out the moment he intrudes upon any picture of the Imagination. A good plan is to take your Self by the shoulders, look him full in the face and laugh at him for a ridiculous fellow. This is what is called having 'the saving grace of humour,' and people who have it do not make themselves absurd by putting on airs and graces. It is nearly, though not quite, as good when your home people laugh at you and tease you. Learn from their laughing and bear their teasing with good humour.

The goodness of goats milk

Brandon and Dustin entered this presentation into a competition Called the Cream of the Crop Competition. They made it to the finalist which took them to the Sydney Royal Easter Show. To our Surprise they won first place. Their prize was $500 gift certificate each.  This was a great opportunity for the boys. They had to stand with their presentation and answer questions about it to others that came for a look. They were drilled on several occasions. They learned so much through this and we are thankful that the Lord provides such opportunities.

The goodness of goats milk dustin and brandon gaddes

View more presentations from LandLearn NSW.

I haven't forgotten about our gardens that we are working on, so please stay tuned. It has been a bit cold and so I haven't been in the garden as much, but the other day I got out into the herb garden to do some work and some things have come to mind. I am working on that and should have it on here soon.

Shiloh's Puppies

Shiloh had five healthy puppies last night. 3 males and 2 females. It looks as if three of them are already spoken for.

Shiloh Day before having Puppies

Some couldn't stay wake for it all.

Sam can't wait to play with his new play mates

Cultivating

A garden needs to be cultivated to look nice and it will also help it to give more fruit. I was sent this list of manners by an elder friend of mine. I think it is very fitting for use in our gardens. An idea is to read over them now and try to work on them by gently reminding the children as times come up. I also like the thought of picking one out to work especially hard on each week and then adding new ones in a little at a time along the way.


Manners are something we really are lacking in this age of time. They seem to be something of the past. Why don't we try to bring them back. It makes a huge difference on if you can talk to someone about the Lord. When my children use good manners while we are out it opens the door for me to tell others about Jesus. The boys have learned this and it gives them a since of being responsible for others souls by the way they act. The bible does say...

Proverbs 20:11  "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right."

Manners

1.  Courteous Words
     •  Please
     •  Thank you
     •  You’re Welcome
     •  Excuse Me
     •  Nice to Meet You
     •  May I?
     •  I’m Sorry.  Please Forgive Me.

        Yes Mr. / Mrs./Ms. (their name) instead of Yes and No to an adult

2.  Table Manners

 •  Come to the table promptly when called, with clean hands and face.

 •  Put your napkin on your lap.

 •  Wait to start eating until after the prayer is said and the hostess (Mom) begins eating.

 •  Stay seated, and sit up straight without leaning on the table.

 •  Chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with food in your mouth.

 •  Don’t make negative comments about the food, but do thank whoever prepared the meal.

 •  Say, “Please pass the ____,” instead of reaching.

 •  Visit with everyone at the table.

 •  Don’t make rude noises, like burping or slurping; say, “Excuse me,” if the noise was accidental.

 •  Ask to be excused before leaving the table, and then offer to help clear the dishes.

3.  Kindness and Respect for Others

 •  Remember “Politeness is to do and say the kindest thing in the kindest way.”

 •  Be kind to all – family first – and especially look out for those younger or weaker than yourself.

 •  Take turns; don’t take the best and biggest of anything for yourself.

 •  If you bump into someone or walk in front of them, say, “Excuse me, please.”

4.  Conversations

 •  Don’t interrupt a conversation, or someone who is speaking to you.

 •  Look at the person who is speaking to you, or to whom you are speaking.

 •  Listen carefully and show interest by asking questions and making comments.

 •  When you speak, do so clearly and loudly enough (don’t mumble).

5.  Meeting and Greeting

 •  When you meet people, look directly at them, smile, and say, “Hello.”

 •  Learn how to shake hands and greet a person by name.

6.  Thank-you Notes

 •  For gifts, meals, and parties, send a written thank-you note.

7.  Telephone Manners

Consideration for safety as well as manners will affect your rules for the use of the telephone.

 •  Don’t allow a child to answer your telephone until he has learned and practiced (in role-playing) all your telephone rules.

 •  Home School Legal Defense Association recommends that you do not allow your children to answer the telephone during school hours.

 •  Teach your child not to give out any personal information to callers.

 •  Teach your child how to call 911 and give your address only in a real emergency.

 •  Turn down background noise before answering the phone.

 •  Speak clearly and identify yourself if the caller is someone you know.

 •  Ask, “Who’s calling, please?” if the caller does not identify himself.

 •  Say only, “She is not available at the moment” (not specifically where she is and what she is doing).

 •  When taking a message, include who it is for, who it is from, and a phone number (keep pens and paper by the phone).

 •  Say, “One moment, please,” and go get the person wanted (don't yell).

 These are not all the manners there is to learn, but it is a good start. If you are interested in teaching more manners to your children I recommend the book  George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation . I try to read it to the children once a year. It is very small and only has 30 pages.

 

Sunshine

Psalms 113:9  "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."

Plants definitely need sunshine to grow properly. We have talked about things we need to plant, weeds that need to be pulled and how a garden needs to be watered. We need to remember that pulling weeds is good but with out sunshine a garden will not bare fruit. Sometimes we are in such a worry to train perfect children that we don’t have a perfect balance. Always having “thou shalt not” and never having smiles of acceptance is detrimental to anyone. You should be your child’s sunshine. I have a little boy that I call “my sunshine.” Every time I see his face, even from the time he was a baby, it has shone. It is almost always beaming with a smile. He has such a sweet countenance.

Some people are worried that disciplining a child will break the spirit of the child. This is not true. If you are disciplining a child properly then you will be breaking the self will of a child. If you are a grouch and yelling at your children then you are breaking the spirit of the child, which is something you don’t want to do.

Proverbs 15:13 "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."

Training a child properly will make a happy child. Have you ever seen a child throwing a tantrum? I have and thought "I wish that mother would discipline that child so that he can be happy." It is a relief to a child. They then understand what is expected of them. My same child that I was telling you about being a sunbeam can put a smile on his face in some of the hardest times. It automatically changes his spirit. Next thing you know he will be laughing and the rest of us with him. Be cause….

Smiles are contagious 

After a time of discipline is a good time to encourage your child that they can do better with a gentle smile of I love you. It is good to help a child get over being upset after being disciplined.

Sometimes it is not easy to be so joyful, but if you find that you are not smiling often, then you may have become unthankful and discontent and these are sins that you will need to get out of your life. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you maybe sick. Don't forget about those around you even in these times. I know that if you help them with a smile, they will help you to smile during those hard times. Remember “for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Proverbs 17:22  "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

You need to plant a smile on your face and let it be there most of the time, so that you can then plant one on their face. Enjoy your children that God has blessed you with. Be a mother that is fun. Play with your children. Dance with your children. Sing to your children. Praise the Lord with your children. Giggle together. Be joyful together. It  is not only good for the soul but also good for your health.

Watering

 Gardens need plants to be a garden; we also have to keep those weeds out, but let us not forget that plants will never grow without water.

Ephesians 5:26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,"

 The Word of God is likened to water in this passage. Reading Bible stories to your children right out of the Bible is great. They love it. Why not read to them about Noah straight out of the Bible. Let them picture what they think Noah looks like. How about Jonah and the big fish? Let them hear how Jesus spit in the dirt and rubbed it in the eyes of a blind man and it healed him, or of how he stuck his fingers in the ears of a deaf man and spit on the ground and the deaf was made to hear. Don’t you think they would enjoy it? Give them a love for the word of God by showing them how exciting the stories are in the Bible. Read it to them daily.

 One of the best rewards we give our children is a Bible. They are not allowed to carry a Bible when they are young. I want them to know that the Bible is not just another book, but an important special book. When they start learning how to read out of a lesson book I then let them carry a small New Testament. As an incentive to finish the book they are rewarded with a Bible of their own. Oh what a happy day when they get to go and pick out their own Bible. We then start in Genesis and let them read the word of God themselves. We take our time at it. They may only read one verse at a time. We slowly work up to reading more as they can handle it. I never want it to be a burden. It is such a blessing to see the day they have read the Bible completely through. It is an accomplishment that most adults can’t say they have done. They are getting something more out of it than anything I can do. They are learning how to read out of the Bible. They are getting washed by the words of God. They are getting a since of accomplishment as they read the word of God.

 Having children memorize the word of God is a good thing as well. It is not only watering the garden but also planting seeds as it waters. There are some easy verses for children to learn. You could half some of the bigger ones. If your child is older, then they could say the whole verse, or you could take two weeks to learn it instead of one. Learning a verse is quite easy. At first I read the verse to the child. Then I have them repeat it after me a little at a time. We then practice the verse once every day. This could be at the same time that you read a Bible story to them or they read to you. By the end of the week the verse is memorized. You can start the practice of learning verses at young ages such as 2 years of age. I have had a child learn the books of the Bible at that age thinking all the while he was playing.

Here are a couple you could start out with.

• Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
• Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
• Matthew 5:16a Let your light so shine before men, …
• Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

 There are so many good ones. You can pick them according to something that your child may be learning at the time or needs to learn such as "Children obey your parents in the Lord".

 Memorizing verses and reading the Bible is not only watering the soul of your child but is also good for them. It is an excellent speech therapy time as you help them to pronounce the words. It is good exercise for their brain.

Charlotte Mason's Original Homeschooling Series

 I just found this online and I thought someone might be glad to know it is available free online. These are the books I was talking about that I am reading.
Here is the link
 http://amblesideonline.org/CM/toc.html

Weed,Weed, Weed!

For those interested the messages are now working on the last post.

Before I get into this next bit I would like to quote a little from a book I am reading. It is School Education “Developing a curriculum” By Charlotte M. Mason. Charlotte Mason is highly looked to in the homeschool community, but can offer much to others as well. She has written a series of books with 6 volumes in it on education. This one is volume 3. I have read 1 and 2. While I don’t agree with everything in her books, I do agree with a lot. I have so much enjoyed volume 3. I recommend these books to those interested in their children’s education or to teachers looking for fresh ideas. 

The Habit of Sweet thoughts. Pg. 135-136 of vol 3.

"Again, Let us keep before the children that it is the manner of thoughts we think which matters; and, in the early days, when a child’s face is an open book to his parents, the habit of sweet thoughts must be kept up, and every selfish, resentful, unamiable movement of children’s minds observed in the countenance must be changed before consciousness sets in.”

Weed! Weed! Weed.!

I was recently reading an article that saddened my heart. The man was doing an answer question section. This is an open reminder to watch out from whom you take counsel from and getting it from the Bible is best.

The question was:

Q:        When I give my 5-year-old daughter an instruction of some sort or other, she does what I tell her to do, but not without some amount of “lip.” She’ll mutter under her breath (but I can usually hear what she’s saying) things like “stupid,” or she’ll tell me I’m “mean” and then stomp off and do whatever it is I told her to do, usually a chore. Should I punish her for these outbursts? If so, how?

And the sad answer:

A:        Exasperated outbursts of this sort fall into two categories: there are those that accompany belligerent and defiant disobedience, and there are those that don’t. Your daughter’s outbursts definitely fall into the second, more rare, category. She vents, but she obeys. Aren’t you the fortunate one?

            My standard recommendation concerning this second category borrows from one of Great-Grandma’s Parenting Aphorisms: leave well enough alone. The important thing is that your daughter obeys. Yes, her venting is a tad disrespectful, but if you make that an issue, you could quickly find yourself in a power struggle with a child who is becoming both more disrespectful and increasingly defiant.

            You don’t want to push this downhill, so take Great-Granny’s advice: ignore your daughter’s outbursts. My prediction is that if you pay them no mind, they will gradually fade away.

You might be saying, “Why, what is wrong about that?”  Well, nothing if you want to just get along with the child long enough until she changes the under the breath outburst to the yelling at her Mom then out of control hitting her mom. Sure it is easier when they are young to ignore such behaviour. But you are letting a weed into that child’s heart that is going to get a deep root. Remember we are trying to stop the weeds before they take over the garden (our child’s heart.) If we don’t deal with the heart of a child then we are letting bitterness build up there. A child with bitterness in their heart makes for a depressed child or adult. Thus leading to more mental illnesses. This woman may find it easier to ignore this now but she WILL NOT have the rest that she could have later if she doesn’t take care of it now.

This is what I would have done in this situation. I would have stopped the child and said, “I don’t want you calling me names. I don’t want you to talk back to me it is not pleasing to God either.” Punish the child according to the Bible in a short and calm manner and tell the child, “now this time I want you to obey me with a happy heart.” Tell the child what you want them to do again and see if it improves, if not go through it again until they obey with a happy heart.

Yes, it may take a while. STAY CALM! Remember this child is not your enemy and that you are training. This child is in the learning stage, and she is learning what she can get away with. She is learning what you expect from her. She is learning right from wrong.

If your child is older, then this is how I would deal with this situation.  I tell child what I want them to do. They say something like “you are stupid.” I would stop them, get at their level and say “Do you really think I am stupid?” Let them know that you have heard what they said. If they say “yes.” Then you are seeing there are some weeds that have already taken root as a child should never feel comfortable calling their mother stupid. It is time to start pulling before they get too deep. So say “ It is a sin for you to think I am stupid. It is one of the Ten Commandments to Honour your Father and Mother.” Here I would take the time to pull out the bible and show them the commandment or read it to them. And then say to them it is one of Gods laws and you have disobeyed that law. I am supposed to make sure that you keep God’s laws and you have broken one so you must be punished. I would then punish the child according to God’s words.

If the child says “No, I don’t think you are stupid and I am sorry.”  I would then tell the child that the Bible says that he should honour his Father and Mother. You should never talk to me or about me like that. I am glad that you have said that you are sorry but you have broken God’s law and should be punished for it. And then do a quick simple punishment according to the Bible. 

Remember we are training the heart here. If you let the child do something with a bad attitude then you are cultivating that attitude. We want to cultivate a good attitude.

Please remember that being CONSISTENT is so very important. If you can trust in the heart of your child then you will have rest. Not to mention you will get some good fruit as well.

The Message "How To Improve Your Singing"

The messages are working now.

God Hammers Things In

There is something that I have learned. When God speaks to me about something it is everywhere I turn. I may read about it in my Bible. Then go to church and the preacher preaches about it. I may then listen to a message and guess what it is about, the same thing that I had first read about.

I am glad the Lord does this for us. He knows we have a thick skull and need to hear it several times before we get it. Well, this week I grabbed my next message that we get sent to us and guess what it was about. Music! So I thought I would share it with you. Then tonight I had to stay home from Bible Study with sick children so we got out the next message and guess what it was about. Singing! So I thought I would share it as well. Only thing is I am trying to learn how to put them on here. Not to worry, I have a friend working on it and I hope to have it here soon.

Lets Plant Some Plants

As we stay on our garden theme, we can't just look at weeds. A garden needs some plants to make it a garden, right? It is good to point out and pull some weeds before they get their roots down deep in a child's heart, but if you put some plants in there, then there won't be much room for the weeds. Why not fill their hearts with the good so they will refuse the evil?

Isaiah 7:15  "Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good."

My boys love music, as do all children. So why not fill them with some plants. Fill them with good music. You might be asking "What is Good Music?" The Bible says

Ephesians 5:19  "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;"

Singing to the Lord and praising him is definitely something good to plant in a child's heart. If you fill their hearts with these things they won't look for the music of the world. Lets picture something: A child is singing at the top of their lungs. You think "Isn't that cute."  At a closer look or sound should I say you are hearing things like. "Don't break my heart" or "Shes been cheating on me" or "We got drunk last night." "Lets party." These are the things people are putting in their children's heads when they play this worlds music to them. 

Let's picture it another way; a child is singing and at closer hear it is "Jesus loves me this I know." " When we all get to heaven" " Oh be careful little ears what you hear. For the father up above is looking down with love, so be careful little ears what you hear." Which child is going to be more stable in the Lord? Which one is less likely to fall into sin? Wouldn't you think the one who is singing about the Lords Eyes being on them? The point I wanted to start out with is if you fill them up on the good music they won't desire to hear the bad. And if you fill them up with the good then you are planting some seeds in that heart of theirs that will bear good fruit.


Also in the last post we read about how the television and video games and the many other things he named are harmful weeds. Instead of setting your children in front of the television why not try some old time radio programs. Such as Your Story Hour, or Jonathan Park,  There are many of these and my boys love them. Plus they are learning and using their brains as they picture the story happening. How about reading to them. My children love for us to read chapter books to them. At night instead of turning on the TV Dad or Mom are begged to read a chapter of the book. Then it is "Just one more please." Our children hate to watch the movie such as Black Beauty because " It is not as good as the book. They leave it all out," they say.

Remember we are growing gardens. Giving them plenty of time in the sunshine is very important. They need it for their health and it will keep them away from TV.  Outside time gives them Vitamin D, which I have been reading that most people are lacking on and not having enough could cause cancer. Let them do some of the work out there for you. They love it when you are working together.  Keeping a child busy in work is good and they thrive on it.

Some Weeds - Music, Movies, Machines, and Men

Ephesians 5:8-9  "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)"

Last week we were thinking about how our children are little gardens. This week I wanted to post this message by Bro. Ron Ralph. He points out some weeds that we may pass over not being for sure if they are a weed or a plant. Remember in the last post we saw that sometimes when the boys or my husband are helping me in the garden I have to tell them what are weeds and what are plants, well Bro Ron Ralph can help us identify some of those weeds in our children's lives.
Music, Movies, Machines, and Men
Approximately twenty years ago, I was given a great opportunity. I was asked to
speak to all the teachers and staff of every school in our county. My text was Psalm
127:4, which says, “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of
the youth.” I tried to convey to the teachers the great worth of children and the
enormous influence each teacher had on those children. That experience led to
another opportunity which would allow me to address what I considered to be some
of the DANGERS of our day, especially concerning our youth. For this occasion, I
titled my message: “Music, Movies, Machines, and Men.” Please consider these very
brief comments as I reflect on what I taught two decades ago, before the technology
had advanced to its’ present form.

 2 Kings 3:15  "But now bring me a minstrel. And it came to pass, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the LORD came upon him."

I – Music – I am baffled that so many adults fail to see the danger of “un-
Christian” music. You need to hear this – MUSIC HAS A SPIRIT BEHIND IT, IN IT,
AND THROUGH IT! I am not talking about Rock or Rap, I am talking about ALL
MUSIC. Do not forget, Satan is very subtil. Rock and Rap is not a problem for most
serious minded Christians. But there is plenty of music that by comparison appears
“safe.” However, a steady diet of that music will lead to a fleshy, carnal, sensual
spirit. It is a spirit that invites trouble and hinders the Holy Spirit of God. BEWARE OF
UN-CHRISTIAN MUSIC! (Eph.5:19; Col.3:16; 1 Sam.16:23; 2 K. 3:15)

Psalms 101:3  "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me."

II – Movies – You will rarely see a movie that is not “backed-up” by music! That
alone is cause for concern. But beyond that, once again, the subtil nature of our
enemy is evident in Hollywood. I am equally baffled on this subject as so many
parents allow their children to watch what would have been rated “R” when I was a
child. As I hear children talk about the movies they watch, I ask myself if the parents
are ignorant (naïve), uncaring, or just lazy! While I would say some are truly
ignorant (not realizing the danger), and some may even be uncaring (they just don’t
care enough about the spiritual well being of the child), my personal guess is that
most of the problem is LAZINESS. Television (including video movies) has become
the “baby-sitter” and replaced the instruction of the father and the law of the
mother. (Ps.101:3; Lam.3:51; Ezek.23)

Luke 8:14  "And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection."

III – Machines – When I taught this material twenty years ago, it was a warning
about the television and what would now be considered archaic video games. Today,
I would have to include computers, dvd players, cell phones, and a list I can’t even
spell. I could give you lots of scripture on this subject and address what these
“machines” of our day are doing to the minds of our youth, but I’ll simply tell you
one of the most obvious problems. Modern technology is working hand in hand with
modern society to destroy healthy relationships! People don’t talk, they text. They
eat meals while watching television. They sit around with their ears plugged with
something coming out of one of these machines. What might be a decent tool (like a
cell phone) is usually nothing but a toy. America has too many toys! And we don’t
own them, they own us! (2 Tim.3:4; Luke 8:14; Deut. 8:11-14 and 28:47.)

IV – Men – A wise man once said you can tell a lot about a society by the people they esteem.

 Psalm 12:8 says, “The wicked walk on every side, when the vilest men are exalted.”

 The heroes of our colonial days in America were military heroes and
spiritual heroes. Today, in a society that loves pleasure more than God, our heroes
are athletes, musicians, and movie stars! And most of them are vile – morally very
loose! What has all this produced to this point and what will it produce in the future?
Time will tell, but for certain, we are seeing the development of the most SELFcentered,
lazy, dependant, shallow society that America has ever known. (Ps.12:8;
Pr.24:1 and 28:7; 2 Chron.19:2; 1 Cor.15:33 and Ezek.11:12).

America is in serious trouble. God’s people have become so “entangled” in the
affairs of this life, that now many of them don’t even see the dangers. May God help
us to “look unto Jesus” and may the things of this earth grow strangely dim in the
light of His glory and grace!

Little Gardens

Psalms 127:3  "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

I was just outside working on my garden and thinking. While pulling weeds thoughts came to my mind as how children's hearts are like a garden. We carefully plant things in there that we want to grow such as a love for the Lord, manners, sharing, kindness, listen and obey right away, and such the like, but then there are other things like weeds.

I put boundaries around my garden to help keep the weeds out. I even put down cardboard around the plants to stop weeds from growing. We need to protect our little ones by being careful what we let around them. We should have some control over the things that get near them, but some times weeds that we didn't plant sneak their way through. I have to get those weeds out before they make a deep root or they will multiply quickly taking over the garden. It is way easier to get them out if you get to them right away instead of waiting until they have deep roots. An example of this with our children is music. While in the store my babies would often start dancing to the music playing. I quickly will say "Yuck, that is yucky music." Not long they will be asking, "Is that yucky music Momma," I say yes or no. Then later they are telling me "That is yucky music. Mom don't listen to that." Covering their ears. They took it even further than I did. How about seeing a bad attitude and putting a stop to it right away. They then learn how to keep a check on their attitude as well. 

Psalms 92:12-15  "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;  To shew that the LORD is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him."

You know there is one part about gardening I hate. You have to stay on top of it. Don't you wish you could just put the plants in the ground and say grow and give me some fruit and then come back to pick the fruit, but it doesn't work that way. If you let it go and grow on its own then the weeds take over the plants fast and the plants will get choked out and won't bare as much fruit. If you don't make sure it is watered then the plants won't grow properly and you won't get much fruit. It is the same with our children. We have to be consistent if we want good fruit from them. If we don't stay there with them and stop things growing in their hearts God doesn't want there and water the things he does then we will end up with children that will not have good fruit in their lives.

My husband and children sometimes help me weed the garden. There is one problem with this. They sometimes don't know the difference in a weed and in a plant. I have to tell them. I am a bit more experienced in knowing what a weed looks like and what a plant looks like. Because of this I am able to help them discern the difference in the weeds and plants. We as parents could use some help discerning the difference in the weeds and plants in our children's lives. First and for most we need the guiding of the Holy Spirit. If you have received Christ and Christ alone as your saviour then you will have the Holy Spirit inside of you to guide you. ( If you have not received Jesus Christ as your saviour then you will be in an uphill battle. Like being up a creek without a paddle. If you would like to know more about how to get a home in heaven click here .) He will guide you and speak to you in His Word the Bible. God's Word shines light in areas that we just don't know about. We also need a good church with a good pastor. It is amazing at how much you can learn from a pastor that has been taught by God. He deals with a lot of parents and a lot of situations. He has more experience in theses matters than we do. He can help us know the difference in the weeds and the plants.

Proverbs 1:30-32  "They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof. Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices. For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them."

The Lord wants to bless us with good fruit in our children. But it takes consistency and work to get that fruit.

Proverbs 31:31  "Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Proper Discipline Of The Child, Part One-For The Love Of The Family Ministries

This is a bit of Bible study on my favorite subject, Training Children. There is one area in our lives that we can never go back and fix, and that is how we train our children. I do believe that my children are one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me. But sometimes we get caught up in our selves. Such as yesterday tutoring a child in math when I would have much rather been sewing. Instead I changed my attitude by being grateful that I have a child that I can tutor and have this special time with him. One that he will remember when he gets older of how Mom took time out for him. I had a talk to a mother this week. Telling me "I am tired of my children. I just want to get out. They are so lazy." I had to remind her your children are what you have trained them to be. You need to look to your children as a blessing. Work with them then play with them. Isn't it sad that a mother would get to the point that she doesn't like her own children?! But it happens all the time. Don't get caught up in yourself. Women leave their husbands all the time because they don't get along. They don't stop and think "how will this affect the children." They say "They are better off away from him" but did you think about the fact that he will get visitation rights and then they will be there with him with out your protection! So many sad, sad times children suffer for the lack of having their parents together. Don't let your feelings get in the way, work them out and love your family.

 For the Love of the Family Ministries

Missionaries to America’s Forgotten

Mission Field, the Family

For The Love of the Family Series

Proper Discipline Of The Child, Part One

Dr. Terry L. Coomer, Pastor

Ministry of Hope Baptist Church

Rearing Spiritual Children

Proper Discipline of the Child

Proverbs 23:13-14 “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

We now move into a different section from where we have been, as we now move into the proper discipline of the child.  I firmly believe that both parts are important, but I believe the first part is extremely important.  The first part was our spiritual relationship and conveying our spiritual relationship with God to our children. Part of the training is the correct, godly, and Biblical discipline of our children.

The book of Proverbs mentions proper discipline five times.  It is interesting to me that the book of Proverbs mentions communicating our spiritual relationship to the child twenty-five times.  Many Christians have different ideas about the discipline of our children. We live in a very undisciplined society.  The lack of discipline and spiritual communication is sending our society into major problems.

One of the areas that this lack of discipline shows up in today in our society is in the peer influence of our children and allowing our children to make their own choices.  What is happening today is the culture we are living in is rearing our children instead of the parents. The culture and peer influence rears our children because in many instances the parents are not there to rear the children.  Listen to me very carefully, if you desire to rear spiritual children, you have to make a decision in your life to be the main influence in your children’s lives.  Three of the most corrupting influences upon our children today are television, music, and friends.  Do not be deceived folks; the devil wants our culture to rear our children.  Do not underestimate the power of these influences.  Many children will listen to their peers before they will listen to you, if you allow it to be that way.  Again, you must make a decision to be the most important influence in the children’s lives.

The Lord has blessed us with two wonderful daughters, Teresa and Jennifer, who have been trained by their parents to have a heart to serve God.  They have been taught by their parents not to allow the influence of their peers to lead them into sin.  Both daughters are preparing to serve the Lord on the mission field.  At the time of this writing one has graduated from Bible College and married a godly young man.  The other is in her second year of Bible College and will spend her summer on a foreign field because of her desire to see others come to know Christ as Savior.  They are not interested in what the world has to offer.  Why? Because they were taught and trained from the time they were small children that what God wants is more important than friends and peer influences.

My wife and I made a decision as young parents that my wife would stay home and become the most important influence in their lives Titus 2:3-5.  Their mother home schooled both of our daughters.  They were not academic misfits.  In fact, one of the girls scored in the top three percent in the country on the English portion of the ACT test.    We heard all the talk about lack of socialization. Folks, those of you who know our daughters know they are not social morons.  We made sure their socialization was godly. We made sure to guard their training and influences.  Why did we do that? We know that the Bible tells us that Satan wants to destroy their lives.  I Peter 5:8-9  “Be sober be vigilant because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.”   As a Christian parent, you better understand these verses.   I can hear someone say, “I bet their home was like a prison, they never had any fun.”  In fact, quite the contrary is true.  Our children had a great time growing up.  They learned to have the right kind of fun from their parents.  Their mother taught them to enjoy proper music, not music that appeals to the flesh.  She taught them to be godly young ladies as the Bible instructs in Titus 2.  She taught them to dress, as a godly young lady should.  She taught them to cook, and we both taught them to be hard workers. They were taught to do their best for God in whatever they did I Corinthians 10:31.  My wife Kim, was a huge godly influence in their life because she committed herself to be there and to be the most important influence in their lives.  Kim worked very hard and prayed much for their lives.  Parents today start out by allowing their children to make their own decisions.  I have observed parents interacting with their children like this: The parent lays out the small child’s clothes and the child says, “I do not want to wear that!”  The parent says, “Honey, I am sorry I did not know you did not want to wear that.  You do not have to wear that.”  The child and parent continue this dialogue through out the child’s life in almost every instance.  Most parents do this today.  What happens, the child grows up making their own choices, and when he gets to be eighteen he will not listen to a word you say because you have taught him from the time he was a little child not to listen to you.  You have now opened his life up to be reared by his culture.  His friends will be the most important influence in his life fueled by television and music of the culture.  He will become a spiritually undisciplined person in life who is lead by his emotions rather than by the Word of God.  Unfortunately, most Christians fall into this category today and do not have a clue why their children have turned out the way they have.  YOU MUST DETERMINE TO BE THE MOST IMPORTANT INFLUENCE IN THEIR LIVES.   However, you have to be a spiritual person to see the truth in what I am talking about here.  I can again hear someone say, “I bet his girls do not have any friends.”  On the contrary they both became spiritual leaders in Bible College and have like-minded friends who desire to live for God.  You see folks; we trained them to have a spiritual disciplined life as a child and protected their influences for God as small children and teens so that as they matured they would be able to make godly choices.  Why, because they saw their parents make godly, disciplined choices. A fifteen-year old is not mature enough to make choices on a life’s mate and they do not need to be put in situations where they might be tempted to do so.  Parents do not be stupid.  We very seldom ever allowed our children to spend a night away from home unless we really knew the spiritual life of the family they were with.  We certainly would not allow them to spend the night with the unsaved or carnal Christians, which included extended members of our family.  We also told our daughters as they were growing up that there was no reason for them to consider dating.  They had plenty of time when they went to college to start considering young men.  They were also instructed as to what they needed to be looking for in young men who could possibly be their life’s mate.  Teenagers are not mature enough to make decisions that are as serious as their life mate is. They also should not be put in relationships and situations that would encourage them to be involved in the lusts of the flesh at an age where they need to concentrate on their relationship with God not the opposite sex.  Most parents make serious errors here and believe their children will lack in social skills if they are not allowed to date.  In fact, what happens is the parents are allowing the culture to rear their children and heart break can come out of social peer pressure Galatians 6:7.     

We were not going to be bullied or begged to make stupid spiritual decisions in light of I Peter 5:8-9.  Again, we are to live a disciplined life not a weak emotional feeling lead life.  Our decisions are to be made based on the Word of God not on a whim of feelings.  We communicated to our children as they were growing up that Jesus wants to reproduce His character in their life and the devil wants to reproduce his character in their life.  To a Christian who has a relationship with the Lord, living for Christ and walking with Him is more important than whether or not he is a good ballplayer.  Folks, I know the influence that peers have on your life in sports, as I was a former professional baseball pitcher.  The Christian life is a disciplined spiritual life.  If you do not understand this principle, you will fail in the task of rearing your children to love and serve the Lord.  The culture will rear your child if you allow it to do so and bring heartbreak to you and your home.

So, why do I have to take this position on a disciplined Christian life?  Psalm 51:5 “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.”  Psalm 58:3 “The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.”

A child is a sinner at birth.  You never have to teach a child to do wrong.  They will do so automatically.  You have to teach them to do right.  The will of the child must be dealt with while it is weak.  The child must understand that he or she cannot live by their lusts alone. 

Parents, discipline is a strong form of love that gives the child security.  The child has to learn self-control.  Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chastenth him betimes.”  The word here “betimes” means “early” in his life.  Proper discipline of the child must start early.  Babies have a will and they start to exercise it early.  From the time they are babies we must let the children know they cannot have their own way.  The Bible tells us to discipline early.

Proverbs 19:18 “Chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”  Did you notice the phrase “while there is still hope?”  There will come a time for the spiritually ignorant or disobedient parent that there is no hope.

Proverbs 22:15  “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of correction shall drive it from him.”  In these two verses there is a prominent word, “rod.”  My understanding is the Hebrew word for rod is a branch or a stick or a staff.  It is like the rod of a shepherd.  The rod was a symbol of authority in the hands of a ruler.  Basically folks, this deals with spanking and using an object to spank.  On this Biblical basis, I never used my hand to discipline our children.  I used a paddle as a symbol of authority.  Parents we are to discipline early and the Bible tells us to discipline consistently and correctly.  Obviously, we do not spank for every infraction.  Sometimes there is verbal correction.  Let me give you a very important rule: A child should never be told more than once.  If you are not careful here the child will develop a pattern with you.  How far can we go before the parent will get this done?

A child must understand that parental authority is God’s authority.  Someone says, “Pastor are you saying I should spank my child?”  They will think I do not love them.”

Proverbs 3:12 “for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth: even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”  The proper correction shows you love your child.

Let me give you another pattern to look for.  As soon as you say, “I am going to spank you,” the child says, “I am sorry.”  The child is not sorry he is a con artist!  You need to make sure he knows and understands what is expected of them.  Another important rule is never discipline a child for failure to understand.  Again, here some children can be a con artist in this area.

Something that is very important is that we should discipline for attitude.  When a child says “no” to you or makes a face etc. proper discipline is in order.  In this battle of the wills you may have to spank more than once.  Remember I said spank not hit, slap, yell, cuss, pull their hair, get them on the floor and beat them, chase them around the house with a belt, or scream at them.  God has given us the perfect place to spank.  It has no bones that will break and has been provided by the Lord for the “rod of correction.”  Parents who yell and scream all the time are only building a rebel.  The child will hear you yell and scream and ignore you and when he grows up he will never listen to a thing you tell him.  I have talked to many parents who have disciplined in this manner and they firmly believe they are a disciplinarian.  “You know Pastor my kids got it when they back talked me, I hit them right in the mouth.  I yelled and they listened.”   Sure they did, right up until the day they got out of your house. Now they live the way they want which does not include living for God.  You did not train them, you browbeat them!  They longed to get away from you.

Listen carefully, proper discipline of the child requires not disciplining in anger.  When our children disobeyed, we calmly went into the bedroom and talked with them about their disobedience and spanked them on the area God has provided.  We always told our children that we were displeased with their behavior and God was displeased.  We then told them we loved them and wanted them to grow up to have good character and to be obedient to the Lord.  We also told them that Jesus loved them and wanted them to have good character. We always hugged them and made sure they knew we loved them and the discipline was for their own good. Quite frankly, we really never had to spank either child after the fourth grade.  We broke their will early.  I will talk about this matter of breaking the will further in the next message.

I have talked to many criminals in jail.  I always ask them a question, did your parents spank you when you were growing up?”  The answer is surprising in many instances, but it is something for us to think about.  Almost always, they will answer, “ dad or mom (they usually do not call them that) beat me when I needed it,” or some answer similar.  They always seem to have a smile on their face when they talk about it.  Then I ask, “How did they spank you?”  I get something like “he chased me with the belt or he got me down and whomped me” etc.  They never talk about a Biblical, godly form of discipline.  Most people do not understand what proper discipline is.

Parents I can hear someone say, “I will never spank my child!”  Then you may be affecting that child’s salvation.  Proverbs 23:13-14 “Withold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”  Parents, this is a will matter.  Remember, I said parental authority is God’s authority.  If a child will not submit to his parents, he will never submit to God.  When we did spank our children, we did not allow them to scream, yell, or excessively cry.  If they did, we spanked them until their wills were submissive.  This may take several times.  Many people in our culture now say spanking is child abuse.  I agree there are people out there who do abuse their children.  The lie of the devil and the greatest form of child abuse that has ever been put upon a society is putting children on drugs for their behavior. Many public school children are now on drugs for what has been called Attention Deficit Disorder.  I would agree that there is a great Attention Deficit Disorder in our society and it is on the part of the parents, not the children.  Many of the children in our society are being put on drugs because the parents are not home and when they are home, they are too tired to give the child any attention.  The child is banished to the back of the house, put in front of a television, or a video game.  When discipline is brought forth it is in the form of yelling, screaming, hitting etc.    The parent does not have the time or the energy to do any real parenting as God has commanded.  Therefore, we put drugs in our children because we do not have time to deal with them.  This is one of the great sins of our society and many Christians have bought into it.  The sadness is we have multitudes of children who will grow up never learning to obey as God has intended them to and they will always have an excuse for their poor behavior. The culture has given them a reason to be a rebel and to be disobedient.  Their parents are off the hook because they have a child with a problem.  Do I believe there are children with real mental problems out there? Yes there are but the percentage is very few. What we are experiencing now is a society that is extremely undisciplined and is dependent upon drugs for behavior rather than the Word of God.     

Parent’s let me finish this message with this important thought.  I believe proper discipline of the child is important. I really do not believe it is as important as the first section we looked at. Your relationship to God and developing Junior’s relationship to God is your most important task in rearing spiritual children.  Listen carefully, if you have a spiritual relationship with God you will understand the importance of proper discipline and will seek God’s will in the matter.  Folks, I can tell a lot about a person’s relationship with God by the godly discipline in their life or the lack of spiritual discipline in their life.  I can tell a lot about the spirituality of a church by looking at the Pastor’s children and family.  As a Pastor it is my responsibility before God to have a godly family, or I can not teach anyone else what God’s word says on the matter.  It is my responsibility to develop in my wife and children a passion for the Lord. My testimony before God is important in this matter.  This is an area where we can not fool anyone.  The Bible makes it plain it will come back to get us if we are not obedient to God in this matter.  Something I have learned is this takes hard work. We cannot be lazy and slothful in this matter of spiritual training, which I believe is the most important matter; we have outside of our salvation and our children's salvation.